Stress...

So I have been stressing out way too much lately. Whether it is because I am currently in two different plays, joining a service fraternity, APO, or being overloaded by classwork, stress has now become a crucial part of my daily life. But of course being my crazy self I decided that I have to add more to that. So now I also have Study Abroad stuff to start filling in, and possibly figure out the rest of my life by say next week. Mainly this "figure out my life" thing is due to having attended a meeting for the Beinecke Scholarship which is a Graduate School scholarship.

Now I don't know why I am still stressing out over this because to even qualify for the scholarship you have to be a US Citizen (check), an undergraduate junior (check), and you have to have recieved financial aid from the University as "need base" (wait....) and that is where I just got eliminated from the process.

BUT of course I stayed for the rest of the meeting...I mean a scholarship for 30,000 dollars given to you over a course of 5 years that you can use, basically, for whatever you need, heck that sounds really nice. Too bad that the committee that picks the candidates really hates personal stories, likes it when you know the right people at the right level, prefers if you have a GPA of about a 3.5 minimum...although they really don't say that its a requirement, and really cares more about what others say about you then what you say about you.

All in all I feel as if I came out of this meeting more stressed then I went in. This might have been due to the fact that they wanted you to know what you were going to get a Doctorate in (or a MFA for Creative Writers). They also didnt just want basic info like "oh going to grad school for say publishing" but indepth like go into this program for this particular research and....you get the picture.

Now I feel as if I need to plan my life...now. But Im only just a junior in college. I thought I still had a whole year to start freaking out about the future. Well the scholarship app is due in Feb, and I dont know what I am going to do. So this is my rant about stress.

Between four upper level english/rhet courses, two plays, APO, and other small incidents like trying to find an apartment, study abroad stuff, I feel like I shouldnt be starting to plan my life. Im trying to live in the moment...and Im stumbling the whole time.

Ok now Im going to sleep